

Please do not let these notes intimidate you, gentle reader, nor should you take them as hard and fast rules.  They are merely pieces of information I have collected in my travels around the Web, and I present them to assist you, not to chain you in any fashion.  Not-reviews are frustrating to writers, because they are not useful.  They do not tell an author if the story worked, if the idea was sound, if the characters were on point and all the notes well-played.  They bring the reviewer's dislikes and biases to the forefront rather than the story, and should be kept private.

Now we flip to the other side of the bright reviewing penny: hearing the chime in your inbox of a new review.  Is it a glowing testimonial to your wit?  Is it incomprehensible squealing?  The eagerness and anticipation can eat you alive until the moment you click.

And now your dilemma: how do you respond?

Once again, Dr. Merlin has the answer.  The proper response to a positive review is "Thank you."  You may feel free to add to it, respond to reader questions, comment further on some aspect the reader brought up, but remember to be polite!  Your reviewer has taken time from her or his day to thank you for your work, and every reader is important.  Give thanks.

Should the review include in-depth analysis of your story, the proper response is to do a little jig and then respond in kind with even greater thanks.

If the review is negative, the proper response is still "Thank you."  Reread that last sentence!  Negative reviews are just as valuable as positive reviews, if not more so.  Negative reviews tell you what didn't work in the story, be it intentional or otherwise, and this is what you need to know for next time.  If something was intentional, you may wish to indicate this, but do so politely.  Thank your reviewer for the time it took to write such a useful piece of feedback.  Keep your mental critiques of the reviewer to yourself, especially when you were the one who screwed up.  Fix what you can, save the rest for your next story, and move on.  If the reviewer suggests you find a good beta reader, take the advice to heart, and if the reviewer offers to be that beta, thank your lucky stars because you have just found someone who loves your work enough to reread it half a dozen times per story and is bright enough to find your mistakes before you release your ideas to the world.  (Caveat: Be sure to review other work by this same person before you accept, as it is best to know up front how strong your beta's writing skills are and how closely their view of the characters are to your own.)

The proper response to a not-review is to smack your head on your desk, type "Thank you," and then wonder at the intelligence of people with web access. 