

I woke up in a cold sweat and looked around me. There were dogs everywhere, lying in wait, sleeping, anticipating my any movement so that they could strike. Though their eyes were closed, I could smell their silent hunger, feel the sharp cold of their grey fur against the tint of my jacket. I closed my eyes just enough so that I could still see out but also just enough so that, if one of them awoke, I would appear to be still asleep. They didn't want to kill me, no, not yet. They wanted me alive. I calmed my breathing. 

I was unsure what to do. I could jump up and run, I could climb up into a tall tree and wait, I could sneak away silently, but none of these options seemed ideal to me. I laid my head back flat against my hard pillow and stared into the sun. I could hear her voice in my head as if she was next to me.

Don't go.
I have to.
Why? Why do you have to? What's making you?
I... You wouldn't understand. Even I barely understand.
Then help me understand.

I closed my eyes and the bold yellow glow of the sun overhead still shone brightly, unrepressed through my thin eyelids. I was hungry for anything, but mostly for meat. It was unbearable. I slowly began to hoist myself up, silently as I could, so as to avoid garnering attention from the dogs. I successfully lifted myself up on my elbows, and then my hands, and then to a fully upright sitting position. I looked at them, carefully. This is when I notice that none of them are breathing. They aren't alive. I squint at their bellies to make sure that it's not a trick of the light, but it's correct. None of them are breathing. I move slowly from my sitting position to a stand, and walk toward one. Its body lies rigid in its sleeping position. I back away quickly, almost tripping over a second dog on the ground behind me. I freeze in fear and begin to run. Where I'm running to, I don't know, but I continue forward over the jagged rocks and sandy beach. 

My breath catches in my chest and I double over. An asthma attack. I can't breathe. I grasp out in front of me, at nothing. There is only fog and wind. Fear catches my heart and I am unable to move. My knees buckle. I see nothing ahead of me and know there's nothing behind either. 

I can't help you. You would need to help yourself, and we both know you're incapable.

I close my eyes and fear for the worst. It might pass, it probably will pass, but in these moments I can do nothing but panic. The cold from outside starts to infiltrate my body and my blood flow slows. I am scared, but I am free.

