	The human mind is faulty and unstable. This is not to suggest that nothing can be reasonably assumed. Obviously, our minds and our senses are all that we have to interpret the world around us. But it would be quite arrogant to assume that just because we can personally observe or think something, that it is necessarily a part of reality. The only thing that I can know with absolute certainty is that I exist. My ability to think the thoughts that I am currently articulating is the only irrefutable evidence I have. I must concede that even the reader of this paper may very well exist only in my own imagination. This would certainly explain his cartoon-like features.

John Stuart Mill is an idiot. “Why,” one might ask, “would you assert such a bold accusation against a man who has so heavily influenced the thought of others in a positive way, a man who has brought happiness to so many who have studied his work?” The answer is that I have recognized a reality that Mr. Mill has not: the value of happiness is but a vapor when compared to the value of truth.
Let us consider for a moment a man named John. John is not a bad guy. He is close to no one, but he is a hard worker and an honest man. The only abnormality within John is the fact that he is crazy. He has, as my mother would say, a screw loose. Consequently, John is prone to occasional fits of rage in which he feels particularly inclined toward homicide. In these times, nothing short of quenching his thirst for blood brings John any happiness. Then one day John has the good fortune of meeting Frank, who we shall condense for the sake of brevity to being a grumpy, lonely man who periodically throws soup cans at his neighbor’s kids. Upon their first encounter, it occurs to John that until he has eaten Frank’s brain, his own cannot be at rest. To follow John Mill’s concept of morality would suggest that there is no decision more moral, no action more pure, than John painlessly murdering Frank and eating the contents of his skull like a Cup-O-Noodles. Let’s examine the line of reasoning here. The moral decision is the decision that brings the most happiness into the world. John is a good dude, pays his taxes, and throws an average of zero soup cans at children per day. Frank is mean, and his soup can average is much higher (not to mention his can to kid ratio). Between the soup-free kids and John’s own satisfaction, the world will be a happier place with Frank out of the way. And while Mr. Mill would probably find some exception (as he seems fond of doing) if he were present at the time, to do so would be a direct contradiction of his concept that “the balance of traceable consequences” determines the morality of a decision.
