

When he arose, it was in the stillness of dawn. Alarm clock not yet ringing. Rooster not crowing. Still he reached for the floor until his feet found it. When they did, he arose. His cold, mostly naked body shivered. Like the picture on the wall, he stared blankly. Looking noble, but with little to say. His body language did more talking than his mouth or even his head. Silently but with body screaming of apathy and depression he walks to the bathroom. The slow march of some prisoner of war. Lungs aching for a cigarette. Body not coherent enough to respond yet.

When approaching the shower, he turns the knob reluctantly to a colder temperature than his aching body desires.  He doesn’t need the warm embrace of hot water. He needs the cold piercing machine gun fire of a showerhead. Like cocaine he’s awakened, but not altogether comfortable. There’s a sense of invigoration, yes, but perhaps at the price of his sanity. There is little that he can mumble to himself quietly to convince himself that he is not going crazy. The voices in his head seem to speak up more loudly, so they may be heard over the roar of rushing water.

When he dried off and stared in the mirror, he stopped to think. Time to determine who to be today. He repeats the same words to himself. Never without response. Come now, you can’t be serious, he said. Of course I am serious. As serious as a suit and tie. It was through this method that he determined what would don his body today. He just as easily could have determined his nakedness appropriate if the conversation had gone even slightly differently.

Finally, his feet, covered in brown leather oxfords, hit the dirt of his front lawn. Walking with the timid walk of a man who doesn’t seem to know where he’s going, he couldnt look more like the car he was getting into was not his own.

Driving to work, he sees the coffee shop. Parks the car. Walks in. Trista is working the counter. A beautiful girl with short bangs contrasting otherwise long hair. She dyes it regularly, but he cant ever place his finger on the change. He only knows that she is unstable and spontaneous, and this is what draws him to her. This is why he will order a complex, pretentious sounding coffee drink that he will throw in the trash when he gets outside the door. Because four dollars and ninety five cents couldnt be better spent.

He finally arrives to work. Parking in a spot with a dead man’s name on it, he walks in with a fake sense of confidence. He is greeted by the boss with hostility.

You have a lot of nerve showing your face here after that stunt.
What stunt?
You haven’t been in for over a week!
Yes.
Did you think to call?
Yes.
But you decided not to.
Yes.
What. Why not?
I can’t say.


